1. comic-phanss:

phantasticphil:

gettingmildlysuggestive:

“when i try to do a sexy wink, i just look like a moose having a stroke”

LIAR. LIAR. YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERFUCKER

YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MOOSE HAVING A STROKE.

    comic-phanss:

    phantasticphil:

    gettingmildlysuggestive:

    “when i try to do a sexy wink, i just look like a moose having a stroke”

    LIAR. LIAR. YOU ARE A LYING MOTHERFUCKER

    YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MOOSE HAVING A STROKE.

  2. congragulation:

    so this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere

    What even?

  3. congragulation:

    so this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere

  4. heartofalifer:

    the comeback is better than the joke itself

  5. See What Your Followers Think Of You

    sayspider:

    •  = You’re my crush tumblr.
    •  = I love your tumblr.
    • ✄ = I love you.
    • Σ = I want to fuck you.
    •  = You’re hot.
    • ☁ = You’re beautiful.
    • ☂ = You check out my blog.
    • ♕ = You inspire me.
    • ♔ = I wish we talked.
    • ☯ = I wish we were friends in real life.
    • ♋ = I wish you were my mate
    • ♫ = I really think about you ALOT
    • ✖ = You’re ugly.
    • ☢ = I don’t like you.
    • ✡ = I hate you.
    • ☠: Your blog sucks, bitch.
    Inbox Me Symbols 

  6. lachydoo:

    If you say “faggot” and I call you out on it I don’t wanna hear none of that “I won’t say it around you” bullshit, you don’t say it ever. God knows how many gay people have heard you say that on the streets or how many closeted friends you’ve helped stay in the closet

  7. humorous:

cuntysupreme:

that better be church wine

i just lost my shit

I thought you weren’t suppose to drink Church Wine?

    humorous:

    cuntysupreme:

    that better be church wine

    i just lost my shit

    I thought you weren’t suppose to drink Church Wine?

  8. BAHAHAHAHA! DUDE! REALLY?!

    BAHAHAHAHA! DUDE! REALLY?!

    (Source: imbluedean)

  9. destispell:

    men: rape jokes hahaha! beating women haha! lol make me a sandwich whore! put on makeup fugly! hahaha!

    women: those aren’t funny.

    men: lighten up, it’s a joke wow must be on her period women are so emotional lol

    women: i drink the tears of men, haha!

    men: hOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU PROMOTE THE SUFFERING OF US MEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE DONE FOR YOU? YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT US. THATS NOT FUNNY AT ALL

  10. I’M JUST GONNA TITLE THIS ONE ‘THE EXPERIMENT’.

    benedoodle-cumberpoodle:

    WHAT IS AIR?

    YOU GOT YOUR SEX ADDICTS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR GEEKS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR FOREIGNERS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR ALIENS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR BASKETBALL PLAYERS

    image

    YOU GOT THE PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU’RE HIGH WHEN YOU’RE JUST FROM TUMBLR

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR VOLDEMORTS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR INDIAN PEOPLE WHO THINK OMEGLE IS A GAME SHOW

    image

    AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR FELLOW TUMBLR TROLLS

    image

    YOU GOT YOUR CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

    image

    You got your Voldemorts

    (Source: veronicaecholls)

  11. Four walls are not enough, I’ll take a dip into the unknown, unknown.

    SLAY!

    (Source: connortastic)

  12. samid11:

    When you gain a follower

    image

    When you post something and they unfollow you

    image

    I’m laughing way harder than I should be! But this Twitter in a nutshell!

  13. thirsty-for-troye:

    " haha jk we had sex"

    (Source: somelittleparadise)

  14. me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: thinking inappropriate thoughts
    me: omg what if I actually said something out loud
    me: omg what if there is a telepath around here